With that in mind, I built an army around the Special Character Colonel Schaeffer and his Last Chancers. Under the 4th Edition Warhammer 40,000 Imperial Guard codex, you could create an army of Last Chancers as they counted as two Troops choices provided you took enough (I believe it was sixteen or more Last Chancers). Then, on top of that, you could add other army sections from the regular army list.

Finally, I was absolutely fed-up with the preponderance of Space Marine armies. At the average three-game tournament I always found myself playing two Space Marine armies and for the third game I considered myself to be very lucky to play Eldar or Orks or the like; usually it was Chaos Marines or another MEQ army. Yawn, right? So I determined to make this new army an absolute-Space Marine killer!

In the end, the army ended up looking something like this:

• HQ: Colonel Schaeffer and Lieutenant Kage
• HQ: Senior Officer with Plasma Pistol; 4 Veterans with Meltaguns; 1 Commissar with Plasma Pistol; accompanied by two Special Weapon Squads of six Guardsmen each (3 Lasguns/3 Meltaguns)
• Troops: 10 Last Chancers with Plasmaguns and Carapace Armour
• Troops: 10 Last Chancers with Plasmaguns and Carapace Armour
• Elites: 1 Veteran Sergeant with Plasma Pistol; 2 Veterans with Lasguns; 3 Veterans with Plasmaguns
• Elites: 1 Veteran Sergeant with Plasma Pistol; 2 Veterans with Lasguns; 3 Veterans with Plasmaguns
• Elites: 1 Veteran Sergeant with Plasma Pistol; 2 Veterans with Lasguns; 3 Veterans with Plasmaguns

The entire army would deepstrike in and put the fear of God into MEQ armies.

Okay, enough rambling. On to the pictures.

First, here’s a shot of Schaeffer and Kage:

And here are the Last Chancers under their command:

There are several interesting things to point out here: the metal plasmaguns and subsequent extensive conversions; the Space Marine bitz on the bases; the transfers on the shoulder pads (showing that these soldiers belong to the 13th Penal Legion); and so on. I tried to give the Last Chancers some real individuality and make it look like they belonged to other regiments before being convicted and assigned to Schaeffer’s command.

The soldiers in this four-man section are meant to be from a Catachan regiment. There were two reasons for this: one, Catachan bitz are really easy to get hold off; and two, I figured Catachans would be a naturally rebellious lot and so a good amount of them would end up in the 13th Penal Legion.

Three of these four have Catachan heads, the fourth heaving ‘Iron Hand’ Straken’s head. Backpacks and odd weapons from Games Workshop‘s bitz range (before the sage Games Workshop decided, in all their mighty wisdom, to stop their bitz service… sigh…).

This squad is what I call ‘the Professionals’, coming from the more well-equipped regiments. They have Necromunda heads, with a few conversions (the second from left, for example, has a built-up gas mask).

The third squad is known as ‘the Regimented’, if only because they are meant to come from other famous regiments, such as the Mordian Iron Guard. The Guardsman on the far left has the head from an old edition Basilisk crew member – I liked the Thunderbirds-style forage cap. The soldier next to him has a Mordian head, while the soldier second from right has the head of Ox, one of the original metal Last Chancer miniatures. Finally, on the far right, the soldier has the head of a Mordheim duellist.

This squad is known as ‘the Ragtags’, mainly because they don’t fit in anywhere else, and feature another Mordheim head (wounded) and an Escher ganger head from the Necromunda range.

Finally, we have ‘the Repentants’, so called because they are all meant to be former members of the Imperium’s holy orders. The two guys (second from left and far right) have Warhammer old school metal flagellant heads, which made them look like defrocked priests, I thought – both ashamed to show their faces. The other two have heads from the Mordheim Amazon range, with the topknots cut off and the hair rebuilt so they resembled Sisters of Battle.

Okay, so much for the Last Chancers. Now on to the rest of the 13th Penal Legion.

Shown above is the HQ Command Squad, including four Veteran Guardsmen with Meltaguns. The Officer is made with the old school metal Tank Commander. The Commissar is the old school metal Hero minature from the old Last Chancers range, albeit with his Laspistol removed and a Plasma Pistol in its place, and a Boltgun replacing his Lasgun.

These are the two Special Weapon Squads armed with Meltaguns. They deepstrike in and hunt down tanks and enemy vehicles.

And, finally, here we have the three Hardened Veteran Squads.

=====

Again, I stress that this whole army would be impossible to build these days, thanks to Games Workshop‘s absolutely inane decision to stop providing their customers with a bitz service.

I didn’t play much with this army. This was right at the death spiral of 4th Edition and I was growing tired of the game. I did take the army to a tournament at a local store… and that turned into a disaster. I won’t go into all the details, instead I’ll save that for a later post. Maybe the next post. But the army was a blast to play with. I lost almost every game but it was so much fun to play with.

Anyway, I ended up selling this army on eBay eventually, and only just in time too, because about six months after I did Games Workshop released an updated Imperial Guard codex. And guess what? Yep, that codex promptly outlawed the Last Chancers. What a surprise, right? And yet their website still insists no army has been invalidated. Games Workshop invalidating a loyal veteran player’s entire army and then denying that they have done so? Gasp! Shock! Horror!

But I’m back now and I am going to make a determined effort to get some painting done. In the meantime, I’ll start posting again with images and details of my older miniatures.

Anyway, I bought a box of Tactical Marines, a couple of the old metal Devastators (back when they were in individual blisters), and combined them with a Captain Sicarius model I had got free for subscribing to White Dwarf. That meant, of course, that I painted them in Ultramarines colours, dividing the miniatures up into two squads of six men each (so you can tell how long ago this was, seeing as how min-maxing has sadly since been outlawed), with a Lascannon and Plasmagun in each squad.

Needless to say, I never got any further with them. I eventually ended up giving these away as the prize for a local tournament. I know who won that tournament but he’s never mentioned the minis, so I figure he either hates them or he’s an ungrateful git. Actually, knowing the average Warhammer 40,000 player, I suspect it’s the latter. He’s certainly never said ‘thank you’ or the like. Oh well.

Okay, first up we have Tactical Squad Athena:

Which consists of a Veteran Sergeant, three Marines with Bolters, a Marine with a Plasmagun, and a Marine with a Lascannon:

Then we also have Tactical Squad Artemis:

Which is made up in exactly the same format as the first squad:

And these two squads are led by Captain Sicarius:

One quick note about the Captain. I built Sicarius so he had two interchangeable banners – a simple case of drilling wire into each banner and then a wire-sized hole into Sicarius’ backpack.

Here’s another commission piece, the first ever commission I ever did actually. A fellow gamer had collected a large Ork army and although he was quitting Warhammer 40,000… goodness, thinking about it I know so many people who have quit playing Games Workshop games… maybe I need to rethink my decision to get back into this infuriating hobby… hmm….

Sorry, I drifted off a little there, didn’t I? Where was I? Oh yes, this was a commission piece for a fellow gamer who, despite having quit playing, wanted his army leader painted. He’d already built his own version of Ghazkull Thraka (or however you spell the name of the Ork biker character) and so I had to work with what he had already built and primed. It wasn’t a perfect miniature, unfortunately, but I did my best with it. He seemed happy with the end result too.

Today, I’m going to share some more photos of old miniatures I painted a long time ago.

Let’s start with this horrible eyesore:

Yeah… I’m not sure where to start with this one. Well, in my defence it was one of the first miniatures I ever painted. I bought it to use in a Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game many years ago, back when I was playing a Cleric in a short-lived campaign.

Good Lord, there are so many things wrong with this miniature. The badly painted eyes (eyes are always tricky but I think I’ve got a good handle on painting them now, even though I’m not a master-painter or anything), the horrible ginger unibrow, the one-tone skin colour, the terrible armour. Worse yet, back then I was varnishing with a craft store varnish. It seemed like a good idea – it had to be painted on, so I had more control over the process, and it was really protective once dry. Unfortunately, it had its bad side – even the matt varnish was really glossy (you’ll see that on more of my older miniatures) and if not careful I could easily overuse it. Case in point, this miniature here. Look at the gap between the miniatures legs in the photo above – yep, that’s solid varnish that I painted in there. Oops.

Another role-playing miniature, this samurai was painted up for a game of Legend of the Five Rings I was involved in. It wasn’t really an appropriate miniature for the character I was playing (an obese priest whose combat skills were more sumo than swordplay) but it was the only vaguely faux-Japanese miniature I could find at the time.

Again, there’s quite a few things wrong with it. Skin tones are always hard to get without lots of practice and I definitely did not have the right skin colour here. This poor samurai looks like his skin is made out of old leather. And there’s that glossy varnish again!

Ah, we’re getting a little better here, but not much. Horrible base, isn’t it? Anyway, this was a fencing miniature I purchased to use in a swashbuckling game of 7th Sea (best… role-playing game… ever) and was meant to represent a Castillan (faux Spanish) swordswoman. Yes, the gloss varnish is still there but things have improved, I think.

I bought this miniature, a High Elf Phoenix Guard warrior from Games Workshop’s Warhammer range, purely to test my painting skills and learn more. I had bought the Games Workshop book How to Paint Citadel Miniatures and one of the sample miniatures they painted in step-by-step instruction was this Elf miniature. I had decided to follow Games Workshop’s instructions exactly and the above photo is the end result.

Again, it’s an improvement of sorts. But it also goes to show that Games Workshop’s detailed instructions, which they still give out on a regular basis in White Dwarf, don’t really match the expectations.

And yes, that is gloss varnish.

More improvement here. This is a Wargames Foundry miniature (Foundry make fantastic historical miniatures, by the way), a Napoleonic French officer from a voltigeur regiment (that’s light infantry). I like the way this miniature turned out, although there are still problems with it (like the eyes being a little ‘stare-y’ and the blue of the jacket being too bright).

Finally, here’s another miniature from Wargames Foundry, this time a Napoleonic British Rifleman. This is much better paintjob, I think, and shows how much my painting had improved over time.

So that was it, my entire experience with Privateer Press wargaming. Although, to be honest, I did find the lure of Monsterpocalypse intriguing… but pre-painted miniatures? Shudder. And collectible as well? Ugh. Count me out.

At this point, I will say that Privateer Press has a very good way of drumming up interest in their games and getting new players involved. What they do is ask for volunteers to become ‘Pressgangers’, with the only requirements being that you have two painted starter sets and the most current rules, and these volunteers are basically the local voicebox for the company. They work for free (good for Privateer Press) but are rewarded with lots of freebies for themselves and others, like tournament awards (good for the players), and more people become involved with the game (good for everyone).

Games Workshop once posted a notice roughly around the same time that they would be doing the same, with volunteers working as ‘Kommandos’. Nothing was heard of that ever again. Typical Games Workshop, in other words.

But I digress. I bought the Cygnar set shortly after I had finished painting the Khador set and I was pleasantly surprised at how much easier the Warjacks were to fit together. Easier to paint too, as this was before Games Workshop released their Foundation range and so painting such large flat areas of red over an undercoat of black was not easy. The blue of the Cygnar miniatures was a whole lot easier.

Anyway, onto the pictures.

Eventually I ended up selling these miniatures off, just like the Khador miniatures, once I realized the game wasn’t going to hold my interest. The only thing Warmachine-related that I have left are the first three rulebooks, which nobody seems to want. I can’t say I blame them.

Well, a few years ago, when I had got burned out on Games Workshop games and really, really fed up with Games Workshop’s shitty treatment of its customers, I tried looking to other wargames. One that was just starting out and caught my eye was Privateer Press’ Warmachine.

Warmachine seemed to be everything that Warhammer 40,000 wasn’t. It was cheap – relatively speaking; you could pick up a starter set complete with the smallest entire army you’d need and a set of ‘quickstart’ rules for around $40 at the time. The rulebooks were different as each of the four factions had a complete army list in the same book (and so there was no more ‘Codex Creep’ and you only had to buy one book). The miniature sculpts, while limited, were decent enough. And you could play with a small army, which kept costs and painting time down.

It didn’t last, unfortunately. Pretty soon I realized that although some things were different, Privateer Press and Games Workshop had a lot in common. Worse still, Privateer Press seemed to be taking the worst elements of Games Workshop and amplifying them.

More and more rulebooks were released. And unlike Codexes, which you can get away with buying only one if you really want/have to, you had to buy every rulebook Privateer Press released. Codex Creep? No, this was more like Codex Leap. If you didn’t keep up, you were dead in the water and there was no point playing. Units weren’t replaced per se, but the units from older books were majorly outclassed by later releases.

(There’s lots of price comparisons regarding the rulebooks out there. In one argument, Privateer Press works out as more expensive ($305) as you have to buy countless rulebooks at around $30-$35 each as opposed to Games Workshop’s core rulebook and a single Codex ($75). However, the counter-argument is to buy the same amount of material (i.e. every bit of detail on every army and all extra gaming rules (like Apocalypse or Cities of Death) you’d need to purchase every Codex Games Workshop releases, which makes them much more expensive ($475 or thereabouts). I tend to agree with freedom of choice and so side with the former argument, obviously.)

And the miniatures didn’t improve. Considering they were average at best to begin with, that’s not a good sign. Things went from bad (the dancing Khador chicken-jack) to much, much worse (if I wanted emaciated female Elf football players, I’d shop at Shadowforge, thank you very much). I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen such awful sculpts from a major manufacturer since the late 1980s. Even Reaper’s limited Warlord range isn’t this bad (yes, the individual sculpts are probably cruder but at least they can get poses and basic anatomy right). The best way I can think of describing the sheer inepitude of the majority of Warmachine/Hordes sculpts is to compare it with Rob Liefield’s comic book art – absolutely terrible but very popular for some unfathomable reason.

And finally, the cost comparison is another bone of contention. Some will argue that Privateer Press’ miniature range is cheaper than Games Workshops’ but I disagree. Even if you only consider you keep having to buy more and more units just to remain competitive, the cost is incredibly expensive. But it’s not just that. The cost of individual miniatures is obscene. $60 for a single mini? That’s downright insulting. Sure, Games Workshop may charge $60 but those tend to be for vehicles, not for heroes (for whom Games Workshop charge only $20). Or how about $60 for three single figures? Hell, no! Again, Games Workshop may charge high prices but nothing near that for a regular rank-and-file unit (of three miniatures, no less). That’s $20 per miniature, as opposed to the most expensive GW unit (Space Marine Terminators) which are $10 each.

But the biggest nail in the coffin for Warmachine/Hordes as far as I was concerned were the rules. On the whole, they work pretty well. The trouble is, as soon as Privateer Press would introduce something new, old stuff was mostly outdated. Useable, sure, but way underpowered. It’s Codex Creep set on 11. And the gameplay ended up working exactly like a CCG, what with all the required combos. It got to the point where, barring the vagaries of fortune, I could easily predict who was going win a game just by looking at what armies had been brought. It didn’t matter what tactics you used, if you brought this army against that army, you’d lose. You get the idea. That’s not fun, trust me.

Anyway, all that aside, I did try to get started with Warmachine. I bought one of the starter sets at first. The Khador faction appealed to me (faux Soviet Russian miniatures always floats my boat, probably why I like the Valhallans in Warhammer 40,000) and so I started with those.

Wow, was I disappointed. Sure, the price was good and you get a lot of metal for your money, but the sculpts were really badly designed. So much so, in fact, the term ‘Khador gap’ came into the parlance of Warmachine players pretty damn quickly. The Warjacks just did not fit together well at all. No matter how you try, you end up with a thick gap between pieces that you have to fill with greenstuff. It’s truly a horrible, horrible, starter set.

But once I had got the miniatures assembled (which also required a lot of pinning, which is not something a newbie would really know how to do, so again as a ‘starter’ set this is not ideal) the miniatures looked okay.

Here’s a few shots of the painted Khador miniatures. Apologies for the bad photos but these were some of the first miniature photos I ever attempted.

Interestingly, even though I really wasn’t happy with the end result, one of these Khador Warjacks won a Best Painted award from a now closed hobbystore in the area. That was nice, although I felt the red turned out too brownish, almost like a burgundy.

Oh, and the Russian on the shoulder edges of the Destroyer Warjack is ‘pain’ and ‘misery’, I think. Cheesy but a fun touch.

Below you’ll see some pictures of an Inquisitor Eisenhorn miniature I painted as a commission for a fellow gamer a few years back. As this is from Games Workshop’s 54mm-scale Inquisitor wargame, it’s a little larger than the miniatures I usually paint (although obviously nowhere near as large as those two Daleks!). I was a little anxious about painting it to begin with, but I soon found it wasn’t much different to painting a regular 28mm-scale miniature, and in fact gave me a somewhat larger canvas to experiment with.

For example, check out the subtle pattern I painted on the miniature’s cuffs and collar. And also the greater amount of detail I added to the parchment.

The gamer I painted this miniature for ended up donating it to my local gaming store. I know he’s pretty much given up wargaming, so I’m hoping that was the reason (and not that he didn’t like it!).