Okay, another post in the same day. What’s up with that? Well, I’m trying to post as much as I can this week to make up for not posting anything last week. So what now?
Well, a few years ago, when I had got burned out on Games Workshop games and really, really fed up with Games Workshop’s shitty treatment of its customers, I tried looking to other wargames. One that was just starting out and caught my eye was Privateer Press’ Warmachine.
Warmachine seemed to be everything that Warhammer 40,000 wasn’t. It was cheap – relatively speaking; you could pick up a starter set complete with the smallest entire army you’d need and a set of ‘quickstart’ rules for around $40 at the time. The rulebooks were different as each of the four factions had a complete army list in the same book (and so there was no more ‘Codex Creep’ and you only had to buy one book). The miniature sculpts, while limited, were decent enough. And you could play with a small army, which kept costs and painting time down.
It didn’t last, unfortunately. Pretty soon I realized that although some things were different, Privateer Press and Games Workshop had a lot in common. Worse still, Privateer Press seemed to be taking the worst elements of Games Workshop and amplifying them.
More and more rulebooks were released. And unlike Codexes, which you can get away with buying only one if you really want/have to, you had to buy every rulebook Privateer Press released. Codex Creep? No, this was more like Codex Leap. If you didn’t keep up, you were dead in the water and there was no point playing. Units weren’t replaced per se, but the units from older books were majorly outclassed by later releases.
(There’s lots of price comparisons regarding the rulebooks out there. In one argument, Privateer Press works out as more expensive ($305) as you have to buy countless rulebooks at around $30-$35 each as opposed to Games Workshop’s core rulebook and a single Codex ($75). However, the counter-argument is to buy the same amount of material (i.e. every bit of detail on every army and all extra gaming rules (like Apocalypse or Cities of Death) you’d need to purchase every Codex Games Workshop releases, which makes them much more expensive ($475 or thereabouts). I tend to agree with freedom of choice and so side with the former argument, obviously.)
And the miniatures didn’t improve. Considering they were average at best to begin with, that’s not a good sign. Things went from bad (the dancing Khador chicken-jack) to much, much worse (if I wanted emaciated female Elf football players, I’d shop at Shadowforge, thank you very much). I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen such awful sculpts from a major manufacturer since the late 1980s. Even Reaper’s limited Warlord range isn’t this bad (yes, the individual sculpts are probably cruder but at least they can get poses and basic anatomy right). The best way I can think of describing the sheer inepitude of the majority of Warmachine/Hordes sculpts is to compare it with Rob Liefield’s comic book art – absolutely terrible but very popular for some unfathomable reason.
And finally, the cost comparison is another bone of contention. Some will argue that Privateer Press’ miniature range is cheaper than Games Workshops’ but I disagree. Even if you only consider you keep having to buy more and more units just to remain competitive, the cost is incredibly expensive. But it’s not just that. The cost of individual miniatures is obscene. $60 for a single mini? That’s downright insulting. Sure, Games Workshop may charge $60 but those tend to be for vehicles, not for heroes (for whom Games Workshop charge only $20). Or how about $60 for three single figures? Hell, no! Again, Games Workshop may charge high prices but nothing near that for a regular rank-and-file unit (of three miniatures, no less). That’s $20 per miniature, as opposed to the most expensive GW unit (Space Marine Terminators) which are $10 each.
But the biggest nail in the coffin for Warmachine/Hordes as far as I was concerned were the rules. On the whole, they work pretty well. The trouble is, as soon as Privateer Press would introduce something new, old stuff was mostly outdated. Useable, sure, but way underpowered. It’s Codex Creep set on 11. And the gameplay ended up working exactly like a CCG, what with all the required combos. It got to the point where, barring the vagaries of fortune, I could easily predict who was going win a game just by looking at what armies had been brought. It didn’t matter what tactics you used, if you brought this army against that army, you’d lose. You get the idea. That’s not fun, trust me.
Anyway, all that aside, I did try to get started with Warmachine. I bought one of the starter sets at first. The Khador faction appealed to me (faux Soviet Russian miniatures always floats my boat, probably why I like the Valhallans in Warhammer 40,000) and so I started with those.
Wow, was I disappointed. Sure, the price was good and you get a lot of metal for your money, but the sculpts were really badly designed. So much so, in fact, the term ‘Khador gap’ came into the parlance of Warmachine players pretty damn quickly. The Warjacks just did not fit together well at all. No matter how you try, you end up with a thick gap between pieces that you have to fill with greenstuff. It’s truly a horrible, horrible, starter set.
But once I had got the miniatures assembled (which also required a lot of pinning, which is not something a newbie would really know how to do, so again as a ‘starter’ set this is not ideal) the miniatures looked okay.
Here’s a few shots of the painted Khador miniatures. Apologies for the bad photos but these were some of the first miniature photos I ever attempted.
![Warmachine: Khador Destroyer [01]](http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j161/Stu-Rat/Miniatures%202008/Warmachine/Khador/Warmachine_Khador_Destroyer_01.jpg)
![Warmachine: Khador Destroyer [02]](http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j161/Stu-Rat/Miniatures%202008/Warmachine/Khador/Warmachine_Khador_Destroyer_02.jpg)



Interestingly, even though I really wasn’t happy with the end result, one of these Khador Warjacks won a Best Painted award from a now closed hobbystore in the area. That was nice, although I felt the red turned out too brownish, almost like a burgundy.
Oh, and the Russian on the shoulder edges of the Destroyer Warjack is ‘pain’ and ‘misery’, I think. Cheesy but a fun touch.